Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
