would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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