so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
