Buhtt sex?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
