She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
