he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
