That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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