Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
