In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I am midnight drunk by noon
I am full of burrito and curiosity
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
