apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
