barbara walters just said penis...
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
