You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
