I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
