wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
