So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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