Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
