if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
