she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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