but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
