Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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