well I can't set my house on fire every night
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
