So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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