party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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