so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
