my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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