he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
