rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
