By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I party with great urgency now.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
