You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
