I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
