Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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