But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
