Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
