I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
