Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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