I heard we made out
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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