I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
