I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
so let's talk penis.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
