He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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