two words: eviction party
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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