With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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