The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
