I have demons in me.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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