Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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