i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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