you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
