Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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