i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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