I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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