I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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