i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
