the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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