I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
your like the ambassador to my penis.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
