Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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