i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
ugly people sure do ruin things
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
