I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
