just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize