I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
