yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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