That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
