Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
