Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
